Hello everyone ! Welcome back ! It’s been a while since I properly talked to you. Lately I have provided my blog ( and all the rest: Vk, Insta, etc) with the strict minimum care. To be honest, I’m not very proud of that, but I suffered from a heavy lack of energy and motivation lately, for many reasons.
The only thing I could really work on properly was the launching of my Etsy shop. By the way, here is the link to the shop if you’re interested: here. And there is the dedicated post for more info: there.
Also, I’ve been having less time for me and the blog, since late March as I started to work full-time in a new area at my workplace. I’ve become a fishmonger. This job has been and is still teaching me a lot, but it also takes me a lot of my energy and quite a piece of my time (36 hours a week). And I almost everyday finish work around 19:45 or 20:15, which means I got home quite late, just to make some dinner (with very few inspo and motivation honestly), have a shower and go to bed. You can easily understand I spend less time on the computer, working on the blog.
But the main reason why I’ve neglected my whole community, is the same one as last May (in 2021) and last July/August: my mental health.
Actually, I’ve been struggling with a bad mental health (more than usual) since my last birthday when my cat died. The sorrow and mourning made things worse and having no job aka feeling useless didn’t help at all. I slightely got better around last November as I started to work in the grocery store I’m still working in currently. Finally having a job and wages made me feel useful and not as useless as I used to and it helped me not to think about my problems.
However, when you’re struggling with bad mental health, you never really stop. It never ends, unfortunately. The exhaustion from my job; I worked non-stop from November to first days of March, every day except on Sundays, Christmas Day and New Year’s Day; let my mental health eventually caught me up. I had a bit of rest, just in time for Lent, when I ended up with no job for 3 weeks in March (my contract didn’t get renewed) before they called me back to work as a fishmonger. Being physically exhausted and having multiple negative things happening around me (not necessarily in my personnal life) ineluctably damaged even more my mental health. Tangibly it means I feel extremely tired, I’ve no motivation for most things (I manage to keep some for basic things such as chores), absolutely no inspiration and that I can get depressed almost everyday (not necessarily all day long, it can a few hours in the morning the first day, all day long the second day, on the evening the third day, and somethong else on the fourth). When I get into one of these darl cycles, it’s very hard for me to get out of it and when I do, it implies a very slow recovery, not a few days, not even a few weeks, but rather a few months very heavy risks of a new crisis occuring. And the more physically exhausted I’m, the more psychologically exhausted I get. The more psychologically exhausted I’m, the more depressed I get. And the more depressed I’m, the more physically exhausted I get. A very vicious circle you can see. Sometimes I manage to catch some bubbles of air (Only God knows how though !) and I use these bubbles to get a few things done and at least make some progress on these things.
I wish I could tell you when things would get back to normal. But I cannot tell. Recently I’ve relied a lot on these bubbles of air to write down and plan as much articles as I can so that the blog doesn’t suffer that much from my mental health problems, to provide a minimum of regularity.
I try to work on my mental health as much as possible, so that things can get back to kind of normality, but You may know and/or understand it’s a very slow and hard process, especially if you’re dealing alone with these problems.
I hope you’ll understand and excuse me for these rollercoasters, I promise I’ll make as much as possible so that it won’t be so visible.
I also want to use this opportunity to ask for your empathy. Not for me, but for those around the world, who suffer from bad mental health, depression and so on. I still struggle too much with my issues for being able to raise my voice about these matters. But I know there’re other people talking about the topic and raising awareness. And I sincerely hope you can get their words reach your ears and let grow your understanding and empathy for people like us, as we’re so many in the world and, I’m afraid, getting even manier.
Concerning the blog, there’ll still be a new post appearing every Thursday ( I’ll make sure to provide this at least), so stay tuned for every Thursday at 10:30 !
Once again, a massive thank you for being here, for your silent support, for reading the blog and so giving consideration to me little world. I may say that a lot, but it is really true. And I believe one can not be too much grateful. One can not say too much thank you. So thank you.
I’ll talk to you soon (I hope),
Until then, take care of yourself ❤